Image provided by A24.
Mary Bronstein’s “If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You” exemplifies what I consider to be a type of feminist filmmaking about motherhood that doesn’t have nearly enough examples.
Bronstein masterfully directs Rose Byrne to a naturalistic, unhinged and perfectly fine-tuned teakettle whistle of a performance, unafraid to explore the emotional struggles of parenthood like nothing I’ve seen since “Eraserhead.”
Byrne’s Linda is a mother with an ailing child, an absent husband away captaining a faraway vessel, and an increasingly frenetic office job as a therapist with chaotic clients and an equally frustrating coworker, played by Conan O’Brien, in a surprisingly pitch-perfect casting.
“If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You” shares the familiar setting of watching everything go wrong for a person at once. Beyond that, it’s a story entirely established from the perspective of someone who really knows this character, who empathizes with Linda in her struggle to keep everything under control and be a better mother, but who still refuses to look away from her compromises and bad decisions. As the movie progresses, it feels increasingly hostile to Linda. Every action she tries to take in the interest of her child is misunderstood, and she dances awkwardly around one obligation to the next, trying to keep her whack-a-mole life under control. But that’s not how that game works.
Maybe it’s my status as a Gen Z-er, but from my vantage point, much of modern popular culture and film seem to showcase the experience of youth and childhood (e.g. “Lady Bird”) rather than parenthood, which is often presented as a shadow to escape from or as a source of generational trauma to unlearn (e.g. “The Iron Claw,” “Encanto”). It can seem so easy to dismiss the parent as the unsympathetic stone character and let their actions remain irrational to the audience for the sake of sympathizing with their children. In my opinion, that makes Bronstein’s direction exceptional. She takes the character of the “bad mother” and turns her inside out, putting her loose wires and unkempt emotional circuitry on full display, in a very humanist way.
“If I Had Legs” is shot masterfully by Chris Messina, known for his work shooting the Safdie Brothers’ 2017 thriller, “Good Time.” His deep, rich colors and widescreen photography are a perfect fit for the unsettlingly quiet and anxiously loud moments of this film. The colors are striking, with a deep underwater green light in a hotel that continues to stick with me days after watching the film. Shooting a character study this intimate in such a wide aspect ratio is a choice I can’t get enough of. The shallow focus and wide vantage make it impossible for Byrne to fit properly into the frame as the main focus. It’s always about what’s going on around her, which is more than appropriate.
I would classify this film as a horror film, but when I finished the screener and looked it up online, it was classified as “comedy/drama.” Drama I understand, but calling this a comedy is disingenuous. This is a tough watch, and if you have any trauma related to motherhood or childhood illness, I advise you to avoid this one—that is, unless you want to face things head on. If I had to pick one word for this film, it would be “uncompromising”—an uncompromising look at unhealthy motherhood from the inside, and it’s absolutely worth the watch.
“I’ll be better,” says Linda, finally, when it feels all too late. “I promise.”
“If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You” opens at Midtown Cinema this November.
Midtown Cinema is located at 250 Reily St., Harrisburg. For more information, visit www.midtowncinema.com. Gabriel Brown serves as assistant manager at Midtown Cinema.
November Events
at Midtown Cinema
Saturday Morning Cartoon
“Balto” (1995)
Saturday, Nov. 1, 11 a.m.
Late Night Frights
“Frankenstein” (1931)
Saturday, Nov. 1, 9:30 p.m.
“The Fly” (1986)
Saturday, Nov. 22, 9:30 p.m.
National Theatre Live presents
“Mrs. Warren’s Profession”
Sunday, Nov. 2, 5 p.m.
“Inter Alia”
Sunday, Nov. 9, 5 p.m.
“Vanya”
Sunday, Nov. 16, 5 p.m.
“Present Laughter”
Sunday, Nov. 23, 5 p.m.
“The Fifth Step”
Sunday, Nov. 30, 5 p.m.
Community Events
Open Mic Night
Tuesday, Nov. 4
Trivia Night
Tuesday, Nov. 11
Tuesday, Nov. 25
Funny Flix Series
“What About Bob?” (1991)
Friday, Nov.7, 9:30 p.m.
Sunday, Nov. 9, 7 p.m.
“Clue” (1985)
Sunday, Nov. 16, 7 p.m.
Tuesday, Nov. 18, 7 p.m.
Sunday Docs
“20 Feet from Stardom” (2013)
Sunday, Nov. 9, 12 p.m.
Down in Front!
Comedy riffing
“Lords of the Deep” (1989)
Friday, Nov. 14, 9:30 p.m.
Spotlight PA presents
“Unprotected: Exposing Pennsylvania’s Broken Elder Protection System”
Short documentary + Q&A
Tuesday, Nov. 18, 7 p.m.
3rd in the Burg Movie Night
“Speed Racer” (2008)
Friday, Nov. 21, 9:30 p.m.
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