Illustration by Aron Rook
“I’ve thought about it a lot, but I haven’t really taken any action,” said Dustin Bishop about creating a will.
He and his wife Amber are my neighbors, and they have two children, ages 15 and 11. The Bishops aren’t alone in procrastination in making financial and custodial arrangements in the event of their passing.
“The number one reason that I hear is the fear that, once they put something into place, that somehow they are going to die,” said attorney Jenni Chavis, owner of Chavis Law Firm, LLC, as we chatted in her Union Deposit office. However, she reassured me that no one has ever keeled over after creating and signing a will with her.
Not to make light of the situation, but the much bigger concern is what may come if an untimely death occurs and the family doesn’t have a will.
“Having to go to court when someone doesn’t have a power of attorney is exponentially more expensive than actually getting power of attorney document in place or fighting over an estate when there is no will,” Chavis said.
For busy families, thinking about what will happen in the future is easy to push to the side. At the West Shore Farmers Market, I talked with three moms out with their children.
“I just keep thinking it’s down the line,” said Maria Mansell. “I don’t have to worry about it yet.”
Her friend, Sophia Topper, turned to the group and said, “I actually was talking about it yesterday to you, about getting one.”
Folks often decide to follow through because they’ve heard of a bad experience that someone has had.
“More often than not, I see people coming in because they had some sort of wake-up call in their life—whether it was a friend who passed, who didn’t have a will, or a parent who left things a mess,” said Jessica Fisher Greene, member partner at Walters & Galloway, PLLC in Mechanicsburg.
Fisher Greene, a former Dauphin County prosecutor, turned her sights to elder law because she saw a need.
“I was getting phone calls from families who were in the thick of things as a result of not having anything in place. It was just horrific,” she said. “So many people were coming in and just crying and trying to grieve and trying to deal with things is the worst.”
Future Freedom
So, what is a will?
“A will is a document that you would create while you are able, so you have capacity, the ability to understand it, and it will allow you to let people know what you’re wishing when you’ve passed away,” Fisher Greene said.
This includes financial wishes but also property wishes. It’s best to not let who’s going to get mom’s wedding ring or dad’s snowblower up to the family to determine.
“Whatever your stuff is, you have to plan for it—whether it’s your sweatshirt or your Pittsburgh Steeler paraphernalia,” Chavis said. “You have to plan for it so that there is no conflict or chaos.”
Chavis added that people can be very reasonable before the life changing event but, “I always say that weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people.”
It is hard to think about our families turning angry and bitter over some dishes or an old car, but both Chavis and Fisher Greene assure me that often happens. Perhaps more important than preventing conflict is the freedom that it provides.
“It’s a gift, a grieving that you’re giving them,” Chavis said. “So, when my parents passed away, they had their plans in place, so I was freed to grieve the loss of my parents versus, ‘We got to run to the courthouse, or we got to get this document signed.’”
When my husband and I began estate planning, the biggest concern on my mind was the custody of the children. The thought of having someone else raise them was a painful one, but the thought of someone raising them, who I didn’t want, was worse. We wanted to pick those people.
“You start thinking about, ‘What are my values?’” Chavis said. “I’m going to start thinking of the people in our lives who fit those values.”
Many parents assume that godparents legally have guardianship, but that is not the case. Also, guardianship doesn’t have to go to a family member, but could go to a friend who knows your children.
When our children reached school age, my husband and I decided to have a friend act as guardian, so that the kids could remain in the same school and keep some continuity in their lives.
Picking an executor who will carry out the will is another important decision to make.
“It’s definitely someone you know who is responsible and going to respond to things,” Fisher Greene said. “They are going to open the mail; they’re going to pay the bills on time—someone you trust to follow through with things.”
The cost of creating a will can prevent people from taking the first step, and at about a $1,000 price tag, that’s understandable. According to Fisher Greene, it’s OK to shop around and ask how much it’s going to cost. People make assumptions about after-death property rights, so despite the cost, it’s best to consult a lawyer about these complicated topics.
It’s common to put off creating a will. What may help is knowing that the will is for the people left behind, and it will also give you peace of mind. Maybe most telling is what Chavis said most families say after completing the process.
“Everyone says, ‘I feel relieved.’”
To contact Jenni Chavis at Chavis Law Firm, LLC, visit www.chavislawfirm.com or call 717-884-8533.
To contact Jessica Fisher Greene at Walters & Galloway, PLLC, visit www.waltersgalloway.com or call 717-697-4700.
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