Where do I put my studs? What’s a cummerbund? Most guys remember nervously navigating that first encounter with the one-night stand floozy of the wardrobe world—the rental tuxedo.
Prom. Groomsman. Groom.
At best, men used to only wear a tuxedo as many times as Jason Pierre-Paul has fingers (Google with caution).
Days of formal wear are changing.
Between the tryptophan overdose and cranberry-sauce coma is that holiday invitation staring back at you with that ominous phrase—“black tie optional.”
This is a trap.
If the invitation either comes from work or is related to an event with your significant other (i.e. New Year’s Eve), the black tie option is your option.
To avoid sartorial diseases like saggy crotch, crooked clip-on or the epidemic of itchy polyester lining, a man must embrace the committed relationship of his own monogamous trophy suit.
Which tuxedo is right for me?
Pick a color. We live in an age where retro is in. This means vintage hues of midnight blue from the ‘50s, burgundy velvet smoking jackets from the ‘60s, or even white dinner jackets from the ‘20s are acceptable alternatives to black. No five-button Mandarins, please (I wore that to prom circa 2001).
Tuxedos are distinguished by the grosgrain silk jacket lapels and stripe down the pant. This formal style was made infamous in America by the son of a real estate mogul at the Tuxedo Park resort in New York in 1886. Traditional English coattails got in the way of him turning down for what, so he asked his tailor to clip ‘em.
Tuxedos should be sleek, not stuffy. If you’re a slender guy, a peak lapel helps broaden the shoulders. Shawl collars help broad-shouldered guys streamline. Fellas with post-Thanksgiving heft should go with a one-button notch. This creates a slimming, deep-V look.
The most important part is getting your tuxedo tailored. Boxy rentals can cost upwards of $200 or more without wedding group deals. You can surely buy a $90 to $125 tux online (Buy4less Tuxedos or Fine Tuxedos). With a nip-and-tuck from the tailor, you saved money and practiced safe tux.
Strictly Tuxedos and Top Shelf Menswear are two great local brick-and-mortar options to get your penguin on.
They didn’t teach Fancy Newsman 101 in broadcast journalism school. Little did I know that I would have a handful of charity galas and award ceremonies to attend every year, which has led me to own three different tuxedos. #AnchorProbs
I learned a few tricks along the way to make my tuxedos appear to be different every time.
Wearing black-and-white shoes, a velvet bow tie or a bright pocket square are great ways to show personality while keeping everything else simple. Always choose a high-shine patent leather shoe unless you can find tuxedo slippers. Bonus points for traditional skull or monogram embroidery.
Back to that cummerbund. The pleated silk waistband was a way to hold tickets or “catch-crumbs”—cummerbund. Today, it can be a dude’s version of Spanx. The cummerbund can help flatten the stomach’s appearance and keep any shirt overflow bottled up.
Grab a laydown spread collar shirt with hidden buttons instead of the ribbed wing collar shirts usually worn by country club bartenders.
Fellas, look up YouTube for step-by-step directions on how to tie your own bowtie. Ditch the clip-ons!
Sure, there is nothing wrong with wearing a red sweater and khakis to your holiday party this year. And the midnight kiss is what she really cares about when the strawberry drops. But if you want to cement the year that was or kick off the new one right—just think, WWJBD?
“There are dinner jackets and dinner jackets; this is the latter.” When was the last time 007 didn’t get the girl while donning a tux?
And, speaking of Bond, give this a try:
“Vesper”
- ½ oz vodka
- 2 oz dry gin
- ¼ oz Lillet Blonde
Stir on ice until chilled. Strain into a coupe glass and garnish with lemon peel. Drink like James Bond, feel like James Bond.
Our Sharp Press Man, Dave Marcheskie, is a reporter and anchor for abc27 News. If you’d like to ask Dave a question, please email it to info@theburgnews.com. He may use it in a future column.
This column is sponsored by Top Shelf Menswear. Check out their new location in the State Street Plaza, 829 State St., Unit 1009, Lemoyne, 717-770-2080. www.topshelfmenswear.com
