Quadriya Cogman
In my school, I knew at least one student pregnant with her first child.
Society would lump her into the category of “teen mom” and be more likely to judge and dismiss her without digging deeper into her story. The notion that a teenager, pregnant or not, could be that easily dismissed bothered me enough to gather a panel of fellow teens to discuss teen pregnancy. One of the members of the panel appeared visibly nervous. When she noticed my notebook, she took a few deep breaths to prepare for the interview.
Basketball all-star MW enjoyed life as a normal teenager, but a doctor’s appointment changed all that. During a routine physical, the doctor pronounced her to be eight-and-a-half-months pregnant. Denying that she had only a few weeks to prepare for a newborn, the 14-year-old didn’t know what to do. She said she had no symptoms whatsoever. Knowing only how to be a teenager—showing up for practice, studying, socializing—she didn’t know if she wanted to take on the role of motherhood.
“When I found out that I was expecting a child in a few weeks, I started to think about my consequences. I started to wonder what people would think of me. I didn’t know if I could handle being judged,” she said.
Teen pregnancy is defined by the University of Maryland as pregnancy of a girl under the age of 20. Teen pregnancy remains the highest in industrialized countries. Almost 85 percent of these teen pregnancies are unplanned, meaning that 820,000 teens under the age of 20 become teen mothers each year. They have to drop some of the things they never thought they would have to let go of, so soon in their young lives.
As I wrote down the young mother’s answers to her shocking story, she lowered her head. I knew something bothered her because feelings of another participant during the interview became tense.
“I had to sacrifice a lot in life to care for my child. Even if it meant basketball, friends, or being a party girl.”
She sounded like a sad tune ready to burst when it hit the high note. “I chose to keep and care for my daughter,” she said. When a teenage girl becomes pregnant, she only has three options: abortion, adoption or keeping the baby.
“Discovering and going through a pregnancy forever changes a woman, both mentally and physically,” said Dr. Stephanie Diamond, my pediatrician. “Many teen girls who believe they are not capable to care for a child will choose abortion or adoption. Looking from the outside in, teens who are so wrapped up in their teen lives don’t want to throw it all away only because they have a child. So, to avoid all the motherhood behaviors, they abort them. Many teens who do birth their child prefer to keep it because they can’t see themselves giving away a human they’ve grown attached to. Teens who believe that they cannot meet the satisfaction of a child financially, emotionally and physically will sometimes choose adoption.”
Dr. Diamond emphasized: “Newborns require your full attention day and night.”
On his website, FindYouthInfo.gov, Dr. Stanley Swierzewski discussed the effects of teen pregnancy and how it complicates a teen’s life. “Teenage pregnancy is an important issue,” he said. “Having a child can cause stress and low energy.”
Due to the human body not having enough hours of sleep, teen moms can become associated with low income, substance abuse or falling behind in school, Swierzewski said. The website shows how a child of a teen mom can greatly complicate life with behavioral problems or repeating the cycle of the birth parent.
Most teens are friends, or have been acquainted with, a teen parent. When I entered the lunchroom, a group of girls sat at the lunch table giggling and having fun, so I asked what they thought about teen parents.
“Sometimes, people seem to jump to conclusions when this topic is brought up, but I wonder what their story is?” said Caitlyn, a senior at CASA.
I asked what if you were to see a teen mother emotional and helpless? “Well, there’s not much you can do, but show them your support instead of standing there judging them on what may or may not have been their fault,” Brittany, a junior, stated.
As I questioned them, I noticed the young girls looked puzzled. I could tell they wondered why I chose this specific title. I told them I wanted to get the viewpoint of how others truly see teen moms rather than how society views teen parents.
“In the United States, the title of ‘single mother’ creates several assumptions about the mother’s ability to care for her child,” according to the website www.2.websters.edu.
Teen parents struggling to stay out of poverty settle for a minimum wage job to support their children on her own, but it may perpetuate the stereotypes of teen mothers, like becoming a high school dropout, which could lead to poverty, substance abuse and irresponsibility. These are some stereotypes that teen mothers face in today’s society, according to www.babygaga.com.
“Most people enter parenthood with dreams about satisfying, rewarding relationships with their child as they grow and develop successfully,” stated Fredric Reamer, Ph,D., at the Rhode Island College Graduate Social Work Program.
“A struggling teen can feel like an assault on a parent’s dreams, abilities and confidence,” he said. “A parent who has a daughter who’s a teen mother often second- or third-guesses their decisions and judgments. They tend to abandon their rich fantasies and learn how to accept and honor the real child they have. One of life’s greatest challenge is accepting painful truths.”
