When most people picture heaven, they picture clouds and sunlight. Inhabiting heaven, they think, are little golden men in white robes. Some have died on earth, and some have yet to exist on earth. God exists, too. I’m the first one to tell you He’s not a little magic man in the sky. He’s very real, and he’s my worst enemy.
I used to be His right hand man, but that was before we started pushing each other away. It all started on a Thursday, I think. We were sitting in one of the offices of the castle (yes, there are castles in the sky), the biggest one on top of the hill. It was a castle fit for a king—well, a king and all His archangels. I called Him in for a talk because I possessed enough power to do that back then. He trusted all of us equally, but Lucifer the Archangel, His favorite, was loved the most.
“So, um… I overheard a conversation between Raphael and Uriel the other day. They were talking about this plan you had. A plan to go down to earth? As a mortal?”
He tilted his head back and laughed. It sounded like a melody. I always enjoyed that sound, except for just then, mostly because I was upset. I didn’t mind worshipping Him, but I did mind worshipping one of the humans. Why should I bow down, give my praises to someone below me? A boss doesn’t look to their worker; a teacher doesn’t look to their student. Why should an angel—an archangel, no less—look to a human for anything?
“Yes, Lucifer,” He said. “That is my plan. For it will be written: ‘Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall call him Emmanuel.’”
“I don’t understand,” I replied. “It will be you? You will be the son? You will become incarnate, human?”
He nodded slowly, and I suddenly understood. He would be God, the father, and he would become God, the son. And I, Lucifer, would have to worship them both.
“How shall I worship you? As an archangel, I mean. You’ll be mortal?”
“I would advise you not to let your pride get the best of you.” I sensed a hint of irritation in his voice. “You may go.”
I slowly rose from my chair and walked out of the office and up to my sanctuary. I needed a plan of attack. I wasn’t going to worship a mortal. I was going to worship a God.
So, I began to talk. I talked to those I sat with at meals, like Alastor and Amaymon, and I chatted with Eligos when I saw him around. The conversations always sounded the same. They started with “Have you heard?” and ended with “I can’t believe it.”
It took only a few days to gather enough of a following, march right up to God’s office and confront Him with my band of angels.
“I have already stated my case with You,” I said. “Now I have some back up.”
“Lucifer, Lucifer,” he said, shaking his head. “This is disobedience of my plan for you, for the world. No plan of your own can change it. Now go.”
We shook our heads and left. As we were leaving, I passed Michael standing in the doorway, frowning. He couldn’t wait for his time to shine, a time that should have been mine.
A week passed without much incident, but it wasn’t long before I had heard of this virgin. Her name was Mary, and my fellow angel Gabriel had just gone down to earth to ask her to bear a child. Not just any child, but a child I would have to worship.
God called me in later that day and told me what had happened.
“I know,” I said. “I heard it from Gabriel himself. I’m just wondering how an infant is so above me that I should have to worship him?”
“The infant is me, Lucifer. We are one, the two of us.”
“This is just a lot to wrap my head around,” I said. “I have a lot of questions. How can you procreate if you’ve never been on earth? Is the child a demi-god? The woman, she is a virgin, is she not?”
“It is a part of the plan, Lucifer. You don’t have to understand. All the answers will come in due time.” He dismissed me, and I went to find a quiet spot in the clouds to think. It irritated me to think I wouldn’t get the answers I knew he had and I needed.
Just like that, I hatched a plan, and no one was going to get in the way of my determination to denounce this child.
Nine months later, Mary, the virgin, was on her way to Bethlehem with her husband Joseph. Preparations buzzed throughout heaven, and everyone watched with anticipation as the raggedy couple rode to the inn to get to the manger, where Jesus (that’s what God said he’d call the child) would be born. Everyone but me celebrated; I was preparing my plan.
As she was getting ready to bear her child, I transformed myself into a dragon. I was much uglier than I wanted to look. I had seven heads, adorned with seven crowns. I would be king of this child, the child I planned to devour.
As for the husband? I didn’t waste my time worrying about that mortal fool.
I crept behind the manger, where the woman couldn’t see me. When the child was nearly born, I positioned myself in front of her, hissing at the woman. No longer would I have to bow down to this child, this child that was supposedly my Lord.
Michael arrived in a flash of golden light. Golden light flashed before my eyes, and I felt a shooting pain in my back. I tried to hide my pain, but I couldn’t ignore the searing heat that coursed through my body.
That was the moment I realized I was evil. I disintegrated into a flash of golden light and darkness took over.
I awoke in a barren wasteland, filled with trash. A rancid smell invaded my nose, and, as I began to look around, I saw my fallen comrades next to me, no longer bathed in light. They appeared dark. I saw familiar faces: Amaymon, Eligos, Alastor, among others, all my friends, the ones who stood beside me. I sensed none of God’s presence.
“Gather ‘round!” I yelled, my voice echoing. I could definitely get used to this. The rest of the angels (or demons, I decided to call them) circled around me.
“We were sent here by an unforgiving God, so we, too, shall be unforgiving. We will make miserable the lives of all his creatures, and all his followers—we shall match him, until one day, I will rule the earth!” The demons laughed, and I knew they agreed. A God who loved them would not send them here by their own free will, would he?
I thought back to what he had told me: My free will would have consequences, and this was the final consequence. I was separated from a loving God, from all love that I had ever known. We were enemies now—Him vs. me. I saw eternity all at once. I saw myself as a snake in the garden, people dying at the hands of their fellow humans, mortals succumbing to my influence to destroy everything God had created. The worst part? I loved it. I lusted for watching so much of the Lord’s handiwork destroyed, and I wouldn’t be finished until it was annihilated.
I leaned back and sighed, inviting my demons to do the same.
“Rest up, my demons. This will be our last moment of rest before an eternity-long tussle we are going to win.”
Marirose Monaghan is a freshman at Capital Area School for the Arts Charter School (CASA).
